She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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