32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
