WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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