Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
