how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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