Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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