we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
