I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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