So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
