I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
handjob tips. give me some.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
