omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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