he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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