you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
How external is "for external use only"?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
