the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
