so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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