Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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