is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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