The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
