I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
