So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
