i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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