Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
