Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize