I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
last night I used snow as a chaser
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
