im drinking this country out of the recession.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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