I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
