thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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