Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Everyone says I win the strip club
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
