Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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