I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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