i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
