ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
