Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He kissed a someone with a penis
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
