If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize