pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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