remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
