Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
im holly from the hills drunk
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
