Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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