i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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