Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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