So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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