Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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