I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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