And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
