guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
