I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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