All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
