her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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