Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
