hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
